Woman at the Well & The Human Condition

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0:00 So if you have not been here the last several months, I think everybody's been here the last several months, but we've been walking through the story of Scripture. So we have this book that we've been walking through, which essentially summarizes the different parts of the Bible, the whole Bible we're walking through, and I think we started this back in September, October. I can't remember. I will say we started it 23 weeks ago, because we are officially in chapter 23 this week. And so that's how I know we started it 23 weeks ago.

0:31 Last week Ben was sharing and he was speaking on the story of Christmas when Jesus came, which is pretty fun and exciting to talk about when you're in this Lenten season, and also it's March, and so we're talking about Christmas in March, which I think it's appropriate to talk about Christmas any time of the year. I'm on board with that approach. But this week when I realized what chapter I was going to read, I was reading it, and it's dense.

1:03 There's a lot. Chapter 23 covers roughly two out of three years, or Jesus' ministry, or 66% of his ministry. So there's a lot of ground to cover, and Ben was encouraging me like you don't have to touch on everything. And trust me, I'm not planning to. We're going to focus on John chapter 4. But what I love about this chapter is there's this theme that's there. And the theme is that God comes in the form of Jesus.

1:35 Ben said it so well last week with the story of Christmas that this boundless God binded himself and came in the human form to show us a way to live and to draw us back to him. And what I love about chapter 23 is it starts out with John the Baptist kind of proclaiming that the Messiah is coming, and then it ramps right up and goes right into Jesus calling some of the early disciples. You've got the water turning into wine. You've got the story of Nicodemus.

2:05 Like there's a lot of things that are happening. And if you read the chapter, Jesus is on the move. I think even at the beginning of the chapter they give you a map. So you can kind of keep up with where Jesus is at. He's on the move. And I think that's important and I think that's a nice theme to kind of think about this morning is that God's not some person who stays off in the distance but he's somebody who gets into the mess with us and comes to us. And I love that theme. I love that thought.

2:35 I love that idea. And so this morning we're actually going to jump into John chapter 4. And we're going to look at a very familiar passage. This is the story of the woman at the well. And I love this story. We'll talk about why. I did a little bit of research. The story of the woman at the well is one of the most spoken about stories in the gospel. There's a lot of reasons why and we'll look at it.

3:08 I was meeting with Ben on Friday and Danny was there. And I told him I was like, we're going to do the woman at the well. And Danny's like, didn't we just do that? We actually did August 31st of last year because for some reason I was here and I took notes and I remembered that. So I remembered some of the things. So we're going to hit on some of those themes. We're going to look at it from a little bit different perspective this morning. So John chapter 4, if you'll join me and I'll go ahead and read for us. It says, now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making

3:39 and baptizing more disciples than John, although Jesus himself did not baptize but only his disciples, he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to the town of Samaria called Saikar near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob's well was there, so Jesus weiried as he was from his journey was sitting beside the well and it was about the sixth hour. A woman from Samaria came to draw water.

4:11 Jesus said to her, give me a drink. For his disciples had gone away to the city to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him, how was it that you, a Jew, asked for a drink for me a woman of Samaria? For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans. Jesus answered her, if you knew the gift of God and who it was that was saying it to you, give me a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water. The woman said, sir, you have nothing to draw water worth with and the well is deep.

4:46 Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father, Jacob? He gives us the well and drink from it himself and as did his sons and his livestock. Jesus said to her, everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. The woman said to him, sir, give me this water so that I may not be thirsty or have come here

5:20 to draw water. Jesus said to her, go, call your husband and come here. The woman answered him, I have no husband. Jesus said to her, you're right in saying I have no husband. For you have five husbands, you've had five husbands and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true. And the woman said to him, sir, I perceive you are a prophet. Our father's worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.

5:54 And Jesus said to her, woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem you will worship the Father. You will worship what you do not know. We worship what we do know for salvation is from the Jews, but the hour is coming and it is now here when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and truth. The woman said, I know that the Messiah is coming. He was called Christ.

6:25 When he comes, he will tell us all the things that Jesus said to him. It said to her, I am, I who speak to you am he. And then the disciples came back and they marveled that he was talking to the woman, but no one said, what do you seek or why are you talking to her? So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, come and see a man who told me all I ever did. Can this be the Christ? So this morning a couple things that stick out to me regarding this story.

7:01 I love the intentionality of the conversation that Jesus has with her. One of the reasons why I think this is such a frequent topic or frequent passage in a lot of churches is you see Jesus drawing near somebody who is really kind of considered like an outcast or a lower class person in society. This is a woman, not only is it just a woman, but this is a Samaritan and Jesus is of course Jewish. And you see this intentional dialogue that Jesus has.

7:32 It's a long one-on-one conversation, one of the longer ones that we have to draw off of. And so it's like this intentionality that Jesus has when he's speaking with her. And then thinking about it this morning, I was thinking back to a few years ago, do you guys remember this book? If you were with us, I think this was like in 2021. Thomas Keating, we did the human condition. This little book is, there's so much to this.

8:03 It's a lot to get through. I remember reading through it and even rereading some of it this week. Like each sentence is like you have to kind of pause and just think about what is he saying and how is he translating things. So Thomas Keating was a monk who passed away and this book is actually the speech that he gave at Harvard University. And he's really talking about, it's called the human condition. And what Thomas Keating outlines is, he says that all humans have like these three basic needs.

8:36 The first one is security and safety. The second one is affection or esteem and then the third one is security. And he's saying that all humans are born with these three needs, these three things that we have. And when those needs aren't met, then we try to meet them ourselves. And so in the book he talks about like, you know, infants. When you have a newborn, you have an infant, right? Sometimes a way for them to get our attention to maybe try to control the situation or to try to seek security is just by crying.

9:14 So like us as parents come in, it's an adapting to the circumstances. They have a need and that's what they know to get the need. They have that way of controlling things or seeking that security. As you get older as we grow, right? These three needs are something that's with us is what Thomas Keating argues. And a lot of times those needs, when we try to take over and try to meet those needs ourselves, that's where things go wrong.

9:45 That's where we kind of depart away from the ways of God and what God would have for us. And I see like those three needs bubbling up in the story of the woman at the well, right? So the first one, you know, the coping mechanisms that she shows for these three needs, the first needs security and survival. I love the intentionality of how the scripture calls out that she came to the well at the sixth hour, which is about noon.

10:15 So it's in the middle of the day and when you're thinking about security and survival, why would she go in the middle of the day? Well, there's less people at the well because it's the hottest part of the day. And so there's going to be less people there, so she's got to get this basic physical need that she has, which is water for the day, right? So she goes to the well at the time where there's going to be less people there. Why? Probably because there's a lot of shame that she feels for decisions in her life or the way life is gone.

10:47 And when you got less people, there's less of a chance that people are going to ask you questions, they're going to shame you or whatever. So I see her going to the well and trying to control that situation and trying to meet that basic need of security and trying to survival, right? She's going specifically at that time of day. And then of course she meets Jesus, which is totally unexpected. So in her conversations with Jesus, they're talking a lot about water, and she talks about very specifically about the well and whose well it was.

11:21 This is from Jacob, right? And he gave it to his son Joseph and their family drink from the well. She's giving all of this background information. And I see that aligned with that second need of affection and esteem, which I like to remind myself the definitions of terms and words on a regular basis, because I may and I forget them. But esteem is essentially like a social emotion that involves feelings of deep respect, all or wonder for someone or something.

12:01 And when you look at it, like when she's talking to Jesus about the well, I think very quickly she understands and she realizes she's probably in the company of a big deal, right? Not only is a man speaking to her in public, a Jewish man is speaking to a Samaritan woman. And I don't know, have you guys ever been in a situation? Maybe it's just me. You've ever been in a situation where you felt somewhat inferior to what's happening in the room. And so you're looking for a way to stay relevant. You're looking for a way to stay in the conversation.

12:33 So you're bringing up things. Does anybody ever done that? Few of us have. Yeah. That happens a lot. For some of us. And I just see her trying to meet that need by just talking about like, well, historically speaking, this is what's going on. And she knows she's telling Jesus like, you're Jewish and I'm a Samaritan woman, you guys worship in this context, we worship here. Like she's trying to hang and stay in the conversation. And then the third way, the third basic needs that Thomas Keating calls out is the power and control.

13:08 And I try to look at it as like, how is she trying, I don't think she's trying to overpower Jesus or she's trying to retain power with Jesus and in the conversation. But there's definitely this little tinge of control. And what I mean by that is like, you know, Jesus asked her the question. He goes, oh, hey, why don't you go ahead and get your husband? Like she's like, how do we drink from this water? Like, what are you talking about? And he's like, why don't you go get your husband? And she responds and she's like, oh, I don't know. I don't actually have a husband.

13:40 I can remember when I, like, I've seen this pattern happen a lot in corporate America, politics. This idea of when someone asks a direct question, how people will respond but not answer. Right? So Jesus says, why don't you go ahead and go get your husband? And the Samaritan woman, she responds. She gives an answer.

14:10 She gives, she says something. There's no silence. She responds to Jesus says, like, oh, I don't have a husband. But she doesn't give the answer of like the whole truth of what's going on. Watch that pattern as you're watching, like in your life, a lot of times people will just, they'll respond to a question, but they won't answer a question. Matter of fact, a lot of times when it comes to like public relations and executives and when people of large companies and stuff like that, when they're teaching them how to talk to the media and how to address the media when something happens, that is a very, very like normal thing that they teach and they really look at and they try to coach people like sometimes you can't really answer the question because it could be bad for the company.

14:57 It could be misleading, whatever. We don't have enough information, but you should respond. And so you'll see that pattern when you're watching the news, when you're watching politicians, when you're looking at corporations and leaders, when you're looking at people testifying to things, a lot of times they'll just respond. And what the woman at the well, when she's doing that, I see that as that's almost like right in line with she's still trying to just control the situation. I don't want to be exposed in this moment, so I'm going to just respond with something that's not untrue.

15:33 It's a response, but it's not the full truth. It's not living in the full reality of where she is. And so those three things, like when I think about these three basic needs that Thomas Keating spells out in his book, what he talks about is as if it's not the full reality of where she is. And so when Thomas Keating spells out in his book, what he talks about is if you're not careful, you start allowing those three things to drive your life. And they can take over and they're in the driver's seat.

16:05 So another way to say those three things, and maybe these are some really, really key statements for just me or for others here. We're talking about these three things. A lot of times, like we go to this level of, I must be safe in order to be okay. I must be liked in order to be okay. I must be in control in order to be okay. And a lot of times, if we don't take these needs and these desires back to God,

16:37 we start doing everything we can to try to adapt, to try to compensate, and to try to fix ourselves or to fulfill those needs. And why do I like this story? Why do I like this story so much? Why do I like the story of the woman at the well? I think it's two things. Number one, there is nothing that the woman at the well had ever said or done that prevented Jesus from coming to her.

17:12 I love that. There is nothing that I have ever said or I have ever done that is outside of the reach of God. There is nothing I've ever said or I've ever done that's preventing God from accomplishing his goals, from drawing me back to him. There is nothing I've ever said or done. There's nothing her five husbands that she's had, the person that she's with now that is not her husband. Arguably, probably a pretty shameful thing in society, not only today, but also way back then as well.

17:44 So that truth of there's nothing I can ever say, there's nothing I've ever done that makes me outside the reach of God is like the first thing is like, I love this story. This is great. I see myself in this woman, not in the sense of like five marriages, but in the sense of I have made some pretty big mistakes in my life. Some things that I feel like I can't even forgive myself for sometimes, but yet God's still there meeting me and forgiving me for that. So that's the one reason why I love this.

18:14 And then the actual, the second reason why that I love this is that those basic needs, this story is a reminder of that we have those basic needs and that we have the ability to have those needs met in God. Like when Jesus talks about the living water, I don't think it's a mistake. He's talking about the living water in the sense of like you'll never thirst again. I see that never thirsting again of when you take those three basic desires and you put those in front of the living well, the living water, right, those three desires, they don't necessarily go away, but they're all met and they're all fulfilled.

18:55 A lot of times in my life, when I look at the statement of I must be safe to be okay, right? It's crazy out there right now. The world's kind of scary. Nobody knows what's going on. There's a lot of things going on. And as a dad and as a husband, I have a leaning to like, I've got to keep myself safe. I'd keep my family safe. Maybe I should move money here. I should do this.

19:25 I should do that. I should do this. Try to find ways to keep our family safe, right? Even more heightened at times like this, maybe you're leaning into it of like, I've got to keep ourselves safe with the rising costs of things and costs are only going to go up. It looks like in the near future. So maybe I should take action right now and do something. The second thing about I need to be liked in order to be okay. Sometimes I think like I need to be funny in order for people to like me.

19:57 I need to be a certain way. I need to be recognized or I need to feel important in this moment. Like this is this basic need that I have. And so sometimes I'll lean into this version of myself will all attempt to be funny. I think, I mean, I like to be funny too. I like to make people laugh. But when my identity is coming from that, when my value, my work, is coming from that, that's where it's wrong. That's where it gets messed up. I'm welcome at the table.

20:28 But a lot of times I feel like I haven't earned my spot. And then the last thing, like I need to be in control. I think it's very similar. It like kind of relates to the whole idea of the security thing. Like I need to be in control. I need to figure this thing out, right? And when you look at these three things, like I need to be safe, well, in God, like, like, if you bring that need of I need to be safe to God, you recognize and you realize this is the God who breathes galaxies.

21:00 And he says that he's got us. He's going to go before us. And the whole thing about like I need to be liked in order to be okay. When I look at that in the story of the gospel, what I see is in this chapter and this whole thing leading up to this, it's not about just being liked. Like we have a God that loves us. Which is, if you're keeping track, love is pretty great, is much greater than being liked.

21:31 We have this God who loves us so much that he died in our place because of what we did so that way we were not separated from him anymore. So he could reconcile us to himself. And the third thing about being in control, like he's holding it all together. It was at Colossians where Paul talks about like in him all things are held together. I was thinking about it this morning.

22:03 Maybe you guys have heard this illustration of this example before. Has anybody ever heard of what Lamanon is? Lamanon. L-A-M-I-N-I-N. Lamanon is a protein molecule. It's found in every single human body so we all got it. We got a lot of it, right? I've heard described this as kind of like it's rebar for the human body. It holds it all together. It holds cells together. It's like the glue, which is great. Could somebody Google an image of Lamanon? L-A-M-I-N-I-N.

22:38 In light of the passage of in him all things are held together. This is what Terry pulled up. This is real. This is like a protein molecule. This is in your body. This is literally hold cells together. That's kind of bonkers, right? As humans, we have these three desires that Thomas Keating talks about.

23:15 What we forget is a lot of times we let those desires override and they're in the driver's seat of our life. What Jesus is trying to tell the woman at the well, and he's also trying to tell us this morning when he's saying I offer living water is, take those desires and bring those to me. I'm going to meet every single one of those desires and I'm going to exceed all those expectations. What we do, and I think the reason why we talk about this story a lot in the church is because we have these moments. We go to the well.

23:45 We remember this moment. Jesus is living water. I'll never thirst again when I go to Jesus. But then what happens is we get up from the well. We go about our normal lives. That leaks. Our buckets leak. We forget what we've got. We go right back into these three desires of trying to control things, trying to seek out our own security and safety or trying to be liked or esteemed by other people. We forget, instead of doing that, go back to the well.

24:20 Thomas Keating talks a lot about when those desires go unchecked and you continue to try to make things or meet those desires yourself. That's where things get messed up. That's where addictions come in. That's where some really terrible things happen. And Jesus's reminder this morning is like, no, no, come back to me. Everybody needs water on a daily basis. Just go to the well on a daily basis. Bring those three desires each morning before you get up. Bring those three desires into that next meeting that you've got where you don't feel like you

24:53 are wrong and you've got to try to make people in the room really like you. Bring those three desires back to the well. The next time life feels like it's out of control and just getting a little bit of control about something would make everything better and it feels so much safer. I want to remember this one. I really want to remember this because I forget you guys like text me Wednesday, ask me on Wednesday, I'll probably forgotten and I've left the well or forgot to go back to the well.

25:25 Hold me accountable like ask me, are you going back to the well because like those desires will never go away as long as I'm living. But I don't want those desires to rule my life. I would rather to take those desires and put those at the foot of the cross, put those in front of Jesus and let him control my life. Let him remind me how much I'm loved and let him to protect me and guide me on the days of my life here.

25:58 Let's go ahead and pray. Hey God, thank you for this reminder and for this story. We thank you for... We just thank you for the truth of that. Jesus, is you coming to us to show us how to live but ultimately to redeem us and to draw us back to you. We thank you for the safety that you provide for us. We thank you for meeting our needs of being regarded positively, liked, loved.

26:30 We thank you for loving us and we thank you so much for being in control, holding all things together for us. Father, I pray that we remember this moment, that I remember this moment and remember to come back to the well, to find the living water that you give on a regular basis and not allow these desires to rule our lives or to be in the driver's seat.

27:00 Jesus is in your name we pray. Amen.