Kindness

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0:00 This morning we're talking about kindness and we're going to talk like there's like three chunks I'll kind of give you the agenda up front. So we're going to talk about what kindness is first. We're going to look at how kindness looks and then we're going to talk about why. Why be kind? Why are we talking about kindness in the first place? So once again I'm Brian. I am loud. But let's let's pray real quick and we'll jump into this morning. Hey God I thank you for this this moment.

0:32 Thank you for giving us this opportunity to come together as your church. I pray that you just help me communicate what you want to communicate in this moment. Thank you for bringing us all here safely and thank you for the rain. In your name we pray amen. Okay so starting off with what kindness is, does anybody want to take a stab at the finding kindness?

1:04 There's no wrong answers. Compassion? Yeah that's great. Thank you Bob. Being nice absolutely. Thoughtfulness? Hear you right? Thoughtfulness? Yes absolutely. So empathy absolutely. So those are all great components of what kindness is and I'll just unpack like

1:35 why are we talking about kindness? How do we get here? Well I heard a clip this week earlier in the week it was by an author named Erwin Raphael McManus. If you guys know the name he's passed her over at Mosaic which is out in LA. And he was he was talking about he he set this goal and this intention like 30 years ago to be the kindest person ever. And I thought that was like a really intriguing goal. And he said that you you can't be a kind person unless you're dangerous and unless

2:10 you're strong. And I thought oh that's that's an interesting take on kindness. And so I did this like large unpacking of what kindness is and what kindness isn't. And I thought it would be good. Let's look at like a biblical example of what kindness is not. And we'll talk a little bit about what kindness is not. And that'll help us define what kindness truly is. And then we'll look at you know some real examples of what kindness is and then we'll wrap up together. So if you have your Bibles on your phone or in front of you we're going to jump over to Luke

2:46 chapter 6. And we'll jump right into verse 32. Y'all had my birthday was yesterday and like I want to blame it like the lighting's really dim in here. That's why it's hard for me to see the Bible but like also very well aware that I had a birthday yesterday and that's part of the gig at this point. So if you see me doing this I grabbed the small print on accident.

3:21 Okay Luke chapter 6 verse 32 it says if you love those who love you what benefit is that to you. For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you what benefit is that to you. For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive what credit is that to you. Even sinners lend to sinners to get back to the same amount. Verse 35 says this but love your enemies and do good and lend expecting nothing in return

3:55 and your reward will be great and you will be sons of the most high for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. When I was doing some deep dives into what kindness is this week. You know looking at contrasting kindness compared to niceness. Right and I think being nice is an aspect of being kind but I think kind is a little bit more than just being nice. So a couple of notes about being nice.

4:26 If someone's nice they're considered polite. They consider they can also be pleasing, agreeable, appropriate, fitting, well executed, socially acceptable and respectable. And I think in Luke chapter 6 like there's a bigger emphasis that's being put on here about the difference between niceness and kindness. Niceness what I think Jesus is describing here in verses 32 through 34 is being nice.

4:59 We definitely need niceness. We need to be nice in the world absolutely. But niceness sometimes doesn't really have a cost to you or necessarily to the other person. You're agreeable. Niceness sometimes looks like telling other people what they want to hear instead of telling them the truth. Niceness is being always trying to maybe like not upset or not rock the boat with the other person that you're interacting with or you're in relationship with.

5:31 And I think what Jesus is calling us here in verse 35 is to not just be nice but to also be kind. And kindness looks like rocking the boat sometimes. I found this definition and I thought this was a great little definition here. Kindness is an action or set of actions connecting a person's internal feelings of empathy and compassion to others that is undertaken with the purpose of generating a positive effect or an outcome for another.

6:05 One of the things that the guy that was talking about kindness that kind of set off this whole theme this morning was he feels like we need an epidemic of kindness in the world. That if we were all striving to be the kindest versions of ourselves and the kindest people that that's one of the best things that we can do for the world. Because kindness is remember it's not about just being nice. It's about

6:37 sharing things that are hard calling people to do hard things calling yourself to step up to that next level. Not just being polite. There's a couple examples I wanted to look at really quickly of what kindness actually can look like. So if you have your Bibles, if you want to jump over to Psalms 141, we'll look at verse 5.

7:12 I had a write on sticky note because my handwriting is bigger than this Bible. Psalms 141 verse 5 says this, it says, and let me not let me heed it and not refuse it. Kindness can look like according to the psalmist a strike on the head. Has anybody ever been kind to you ever said something to you that was just immediately illicit a reaction of like

7:48 that? That's what I think the psalmist is talking about here. He's saying that that kindness kind of feels like a strike on the head sometimes. And then by no means am I advocating for weaponizing kindness. Like I'm not saying go out with the intention of trying to harm somebody because that's the opposite of kindness. Kindness leads with empathy. It's understanding where the other person is in the moment, right? Having compassion on them. And then sharing the truth with them. It reminds me of Colossians,

8:24 I'll say this real quick, you don't have to jump there. Colossians 4 verse 6, it says, let your speech always be gracious and seasoned with salt so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. I think of that phrase like your speech being seasoned with salt. And if you think about like what is salt, like what is salt actually do? Salt draws out things. It draws out moisture, right? We preserve meat by putting salt on it. And it draws

8:56 out the moisture and whether it's not moisture, there can't be the bacteria and all the other things that lead to decay, right? Put some salt on your tomatoes. All of a sudden tomatoes are going to get real runny because it's drawing out that moisture, right? And Colossians are talking about letting your speech be seasoned with salt, being seasoned with kindness, right? That can draw out change, it can draw out things in the other person. Another really great example that I came across this week. I'll just read this to you.

9:35 This is a story of a person, I'll read this little excerpt really quick. Her name is Rosaria Butterfield. So she said that as a non-Christian, her impression of evangelical Christians was that they were poor thinkers, judgmental, scornful, and afraid of diversity. Ouch. After publishing a critique of an evangelical Christian group in her local newspaper, she received an enormous volume of polarized responses. Placing an empty box in each corner of her desk,

10:09 she sorted the hate mail into either fan mail or to the hate mail box. It says that she then received a two-page response from a local pastor, and she says it was kind in an inquiring letter. It had a warmth and civility to it in addition to its probing questions. She couldn't figure out which box to put it in. So it sat on her desk for seven days. She said it was the kindest letter of opposition that I've ever received.

10:40 Its tone demonstrated that the writer wasn't against her. Eventually, she contacted the pastor and became friends with him and his wife, and this is the quote that got me. She said, they talked with me in a way that did not make me feel erased. First off, her previous critique or thoughts towards Christians was that poor thinkers, judgmental, and scornful. Like that hurts. Like that hurts. But that last line of like,

11:15 they spoke with me in a way that did not make me as a person feel like I'm erased. See, so kindness is that. Kindness doesn't erase the other person because it's leading with that empathy. But kindness is also, and we'll look at it with some of the characteristics of God, but kindness is actually having healthy boundaries. Sometimes the kindest thing that you can do for somebody is saying no and putting up a boundary.

11:48 Which is the opposite of being nice. Because being nice, you just kind of let things happen and persist because you're not willing to rock the boat. But again, going too far, we're not trying to harm somebody. We're not trying to erase somebody when we say we're trying to be kind. An example of like what I think kindness looks like to me in like my everyday life. Kindness looks like pruning. Right? Like when you look at your plants, you've got out your yard or trees or

12:24 whatnot. They've got to be pruned on a regular basis. And thank goodness, you know, plants can't talk girls. I'm sure they would share that it hurts to be pruned. But pruning is beneficial to the plant. Right? And we've all seen this. We know this is the property that we've all talked about before here is that pruning is an important aspect of like a life cycle of a plant. When you cut something back, it makes it healthier. It makes it grow back much faster and stronger. I've got a

12:56 fiddle league fig that started. I got it in the beginning of the pandemic and I think it was like maybe this tall. And I don't like to prune it because I know they can be real fickle. I know they, how does Carol describe figs? Like they've got fiddle league figs. Like they've got attitude, right? Like they're very, they have, like, they like things the way they are. Don't change a fiddle league fig or else it'll probably die. Don't move it, right? So I've got this fiddle league fig in my office that started this tall and it, and it, and our, my ceiling in the office is eight feet. And so

13:29 it actually hits the ceiling. And a few months ago, I, I actually decided I need to prune this thing. And I hated it because of like this little tiny, skinny stick all the way up. It's a funny looking little fiddle league fig, honestly, because I've never pruned it, really. And I finally got to the point where I realized like, okay, first off, it's now hitting the ceiling. So I've got to do something with it. So I went through and like read all this documentation on how do you prune these, these plants. Spent way too much time researching this. That's my thing, I guess. And then finally

14:03 just cut it off. It was like terrifying and I, I felt like I really harmed it. Man, that sucker is like growing like crazy. I just watered it again this morning. It is like, you know, got more leaves around the part where I pruned it than the rest of the plant. And it's coming in faster and thicker and fuller. And to me, that's what kindness looks like. That's the effect that kindness can have on people is it can be a pruning experience for them. It can be a pruning experience

14:34 for us. So why are we talking about this in the first place and where are we going with this? Well, I think, you know, that video that I found this week, I think is it's not coincidental that I found it because coming in and knowing I was going to be here and could share it with you guys. And just that idea and that notion of like we need an epidemic of kindness, I couldn't agree more with

15:09 that. And so I did some unpacking and looking at kindness and chatting through things this week with Ben and I came across Romans 2, 4, and this is this is kind of the crux of like what I found of like what is what is kindness look like. This is the first verse I thought of when I was thinking of kindness. It says, or do you presume on the richest of his kindness and forbearance and patience not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.

15:44 So like kindness brings about change for sure. And I think about examples of where God has been kind to me throughout my life. So I had a birthday yesterday, so I was doing the math this morning. When I was 18, which is a long time ago, I remember that we our youth group like we were seniors in high school and the seniors always went on this like ski trip in North Carolina. I forget where.

16:18 So we went and I remember there was there was you know you do Bible studies and you ski and stuff like that. So at nighttime I remember our school teachers, I remember something that they told me 23 years ago. And in the moment when they told me that I had like a guttural reaction and just like, nah, that's not true, whatever. And it it's something that's hung with me for 23 years and it's not like I don't it's not my first thought that I have every single morning as I

16:52 think on that quote. It's nothing like that. But it's something that comes back to me. It's a recurring theme that I have in my life. And I'm so thankful that there's people in my life who have been kind to me. Meaning that they were willing to risk it in the moment not to make me comfortable but to tell me the truth that I need to hear in that moment. And that's what I think of is like when I think of God being kind to me is examples like that. My wife has been extremely kind to me over the years. My kids, extremely kind. My kids have also been very kind to me.

17:24 Man, the kids are tricky because like there's those little moments where they have little moments of like wisdom and truth that they just spew out and you're like, where'd you get that? Like go back to being cute. I didn't want to hear that but it's like what you need to hear in the moment, right? And just that verse and verse four, not knowing that God's kindness is what actually leads you to repentance. Repentance means change, right? Like we're called to be kind. It's one of the fruits of the Spirit. Kindness is one of those fruits. And I'll just leave you with this

17:56 verse that I found and then you can pray and move on from here. But Proverbs 21, 21 says this. It says whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find a life, will find life, righteousness, and honor. And I just think is like if God is a God who is kind to us and we're called to imitate God and what we do, I think then there's of course that call for us also to be kind with each other.

18:28 So I encourage you this week in your relationships and your actions with other people be kind, right? Kindness is not a race people. It has empathy towards people but it's also not afraid to say the hard thing. And there's so many examples throughout the ministry of Jesus where he's kind to people. You know, calling Pharisees out is an act of kindness. Flipping tables in the temple is actually an act of kindness really or not because in result what he's trying to do. There's so many examples of Paul like in Titus and Philemon where he's calling people forward and in

19:03 right here in Romans as well where he's speaking against the self-righteous and stuff like that. There's this call he's trying to, he's being kind. It hurts sometimes when people are kind to you. It feels like somebody hits you in the head. But our call, this just a reminder, our call as believers is to imitate Christ and Christ was kind. So let's pray. Hey God, thank you so much for

19:34 this idea and just reminding me of what kindness is and leading me to this point this week. I pray that, you know, I like the quote that I heard this week. I really want to become and be one of the kindest people on earth. Help me do that. Help me to be bold. Help me to be willing to share the truth and to see people where they are and to approach them with empathy and not only say what they want to hear.

20:16 Help us be your church. Help us to create an epidemic of kindness and as believers and as soon your name we pray. Amen.